broken heart

I have to post a blog before going to bed tonight.  There is just too much on my heart and mind to merely go to bed.  

In the past few weeks I’ve been reading more literature and books on adoption, looking at more blogs related to adoption (specifically from Ethiopia), and watching videos people post of their homecomings from Africa with their adopted children.  It’s cuz the wait is so long, and as we get closer to the day my need for “all things Ethiopia” is growing. Needless to say I’ve been moved to tears quite a bit in the evening hours around here.  

Tonight I watched a video that I will post here for you to see as well.  Apparently it was a video created for a conference called Together for Adoption which is an organization that equips churches to understand the theology of caring for orphans.  The song in the background is from Steven Curtis Chapman’s “All Things New” project.  I know very little about this organization I plan to delve into their site more, but the video is staying with me.  The song is haunting.  here are the lyrics:

Treasure of Jesus - Steven Curtis Chapman (All Things New album)

What can I do
How can I live
To show my world
The treasure of Jesus

What will it take
What could I give
So they can know
The treasure He is

If I can sing
Let my songs be full of His Glory
If I can speak
Let my words be full of His Grace
If I should live or die
Let me be found pursuing this prize
The One that alone satisfies
The Treasure of Jesus

And if I can sing
Let my songs be full of His Glory
If I can speak
Let all my words be full of His Grace
And if I should live or die
Let me be found pursuing this prize
The One that alone satisfies
The Treasure of Jesus

To put it simply what the Holy Spirit helped me see through this video, and through this song tonight is the beauty of Christ.  How much He loves this world of people He created.  Who am I -  NOT to be broken hearted about the things that break the heart of God?  My heart is being broken in very real and new ways over the orphans of this world.

I feel like Dan and I are part of something really big, I am so blessed to be on a journey with Christ.  Just by accepting Him, and growing in Him, He chooses to use me to accomplish His will here on earth.  This is really big.  May we never lose the awe He inspires in us about Him.  

The longer I wait for my Ethiopian face the more and more I realize that this is not about me or Dan.  Although the desires of our hearts are very close to God’s heart, although He loves us very much, this is about Jesus.  Adoption is about Jesus.  He is a treasure worth sharing with the world.  If all that would come from our adoption is the ability to share Him with another human being than it’s worth it.  But I know my God better than that.  He will bless our little family in abundance with love for one another, and love for the journey He is putting us on.  He just works like that.  Aww...I’ll quit rambling...just watch the video.