life is happening at me

Do you ever feel like this is the case?  Life is happening “at” you or “to” you?  Well that is me in a nutshell right now.  I am so very anxious inside about our adoption.  It feels like a millenia ago that we started the process, and now the wait has become like a heavy lead weight on my foot or something.  

It’s almost as if I’m in a fog just walking around and managing to get things done like cleaning the house, doing laundry, making dinner, going to choir practice, going to church, going to my Bible Study, talking to friends, etc.  But I’m just “doing” these things and not experiencing them.  Oh I forgot the obsessive checking of facebook, and changing the look of my blog.  Yes this is like look number 5 in the last 6 months or so.  Mac has a lot of templates so get ready for the change once in a while! :)

So how do you embrace the fact that your life is really on hold until you hear the magical news that there is a specific child waiting for you in Ethiopia?  I am not sure.  I’m doing my best I’ll just say.  Or maybe I’m not.  How much of life happening right now am I missing?  Probably more than I’d be comfortable with sharing.  It’s part of my journey so I’m learning to live with it.  I will keep on keeping on, I don’t know how to do anything else.  

L’chaim (to life)!