A TALE OF MENDING

Twenty four years ago, Dan and I started trying to build a family. From the years 2001 to 2007 I had a series of four miscarriages. They were all at different weeks of gestation and caused by different reasons. Two were most likely from chromosomal abnormality, and two were possibly related to a weak cervix. That third pregnancy really got our hopes up though. I made it to 18 weeks and we were doing great. For reasons unbeknownst to us, I went into premature labor and delivered little Zoe Grace at our home (at the time) in Coon Rapids, MN.

What happened next for me was a battle with depression. I say battle because I didn't want to admit that I was in one. At the urging of loving people in my life I started seeing a really good counselor. My heart was broken. Dreams I'd had since childhood were just out of reach. I was faced with the reality that those dreams may never be fulfilled. Then my hands and heart came across a book that I'd put off reading for a long time. It was in a style I knew I would love, but for reasons that I now know were from my Loving Father, I hadn't read it YET. I began to read it and it revealed to me with amazing accuracy a version of myself. The book was Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. It's an allegory, where real emotions and experiences are characters that speak and help navigate the story. I have a series of posts that describe the content found here. 

After completing it I wasn't magically over my pain, but I had a place deep down inside that was beginning to heal. I decided to give my own story a try in book form. I wrote the bulk of it in a short amount of time, but got rather stuck just after my last miscarriage.  I think the end of the story was hard to write because I hadn't lived it yet.

I've written a book called A Tale of Mending. I want it to be a remembrance for me as I look back at what my life giving, heart mending Heavenly Father walked me through. I would also love if my story could be a tool for God to use to encourage others finding themselves in a similar place. Maybe you can help someone else break their own silence and start talking about what they've gone through or are currently experiencing. We can't get through this life without our arms around each other in support.